Pyromancer has been neglected for a few months.
I had coursework deadlines, and the launch of our class anthology to organise (see my last post for updates). But now I’m starting to blow the mental dust off this project, only to find a whole nest of writerly self-doubt has been breeding in the meantime.
It began when my tutors started talking about the dissertation we’d all be doing for our last year at uni. It entails 7000 words of a project (complete or an extract) and a 7000 essay on what you done did. Naturally I thought “novel”, and wrote about Pyromancer on my form. It was perfect, an excuse to finally get it finished and have a shiny new version to be proud of. Chuck out the old draft, reimagine it, start again.
Here cometh the Doubts.
I don’t have a plot. Not really. I have a plot, but I don’t know which bits to keep or scrap. The villains were weak, so I don’t have an antagonist to speak of, really. The original draft had little to make it stand out to publishers and lacked a lot of the humour and writing style in my more recent work. I don’t know whether I want a single novel or a trilogy (the original was to be one of three). A standalone would be easier for a beginner to write, more likely to sell… but would it do the story justice? Can I create enough plot for a trilogy?!
This story has been my baby for three years now and I want to do it justice. I’m also worried that trying to write this in a year will end up with it feeling rushed and that I’m forcing myself to come up with ideas when it might be better to let it stew. People I’ve talked to have said the same, that I could try writing something else instead, but…
I want to finish this one. I’ve put time into it, and if I focus on something else I might not come back to it. Then again, maybe that’s the wrong viewpoint to have. It’s good to step away from things, but I’m not sure I can bear to. I don’t have the ideas or the motivation yet. But I have a deep determination to see this through. I’m just scared that this book will jump the shark before it’s ready.
However, I realised that if I complete this draft and hate it, so what? I can start again, change bits, work on a new novel. What I submit for my dissertation doesn’t have to be the ultimate, finished thing (though it’d be nice). If I finish it perfectly, I can submit it places. If that doesn’t work, I can self-publish. With only a year of uni left to go, I am shifting towards long-term projects. I’ve always wanted to write novels, and so far have only written two (one being Pyromancer and the other a Doctor Who adventure novel when I was 15). I need to be better at churning out big word counts in shorter time – three years to write a draft ain’t ideal.
So over the holidays, I’m doing some Pyromancer “therapy”. I’m gathering inspiration. I posted a question to the folks on the Fantasy Faction Facebook group asking for YA books on fire or with LGBT characters and they were very helpful. I haven’t read many books this year so I need to get out of my major reading slump! I’m going to put these on a shelf on my Goodreads account if any titles interest you. But hopefully by swamping my brain with creative energy, something will spark and I’ll find new ideas.
I do have one bit of hope to cling to, though. An idea I had a few days ago that is slowly attracting more elements. A new setting: an alternate Yorkshire, in a world where magic is accepted as the norm and has altered history and society accordingly. The world building is shaky, and the plot practically non-existent, but it’s something. And it might just be enough to get me started.
Stuff to remember:
- If you’re stuck for ideas, check that you’re consuming enough. Books, films, music, comics, creative stuff. New information breeds new thoughts.
- Always question: what am I missing? What would make this story better?
- Silence those doubts. Push on and write, plan, make profiles. Even if you’re unsuccessful, you can rewrite or find new ways. But at least you created something.